M and M: Masturbation and Marriage

M and M: Masturbation and Marriage 

Is it harmful to masturbate and watch porn if you are in a committed marriage? Does it count as cheating, and can it harm your relationship? Contrary to popular opinion, masturbation actually holds many benefits that can improve your relationship. However, there are some risks regarding masturbation and marriage that you should learn to avoid. Find out more about the dangers and benefits of masturbation for married couples! 

Masturbation is common and healthy behavior

For starters, it’s understandable to believe that marriage or long-term relationships limit your freedom. That is why you could think that a solo date with your palm or sex toy is out of the question in your healthy marriage. It’s also the reason why many people could feel guilty if they sneak in a couple of strokes while their partner is asleep.

However, it’s time to put a stop to all the stigma and reveal that marriage doesn’t ban you from jilling or jerking off for the rest of your life! In fact, self-pleasure is extremely common among married couples. In many ways, it can even improve a marriage! It’s definitely not unusual for married people to masturbate on top of having frequent and satisfying sex with their significant other. 

Generally, masturbation is a big part of life. It allows people to express themselves sexually while enjoying some alone time. Still, many believe that their partners turn to masturbation because they are inadequate. They might think that they can’t meet their partners’ sexual needs. Fortunately, this is quite often the result of some self-pleasure myths. 

Masturbating is not cheating

Masturbating is not “wrong” or immoral if it takes place in a healthy and committed relationship. This means that solo sex is perfectly healthy, but as long as your sexual desires do not harm the physical bond between you and your partner. And as long as your partner practices proper personal hygiene for his special toys of course.

In that case, self-satisfaction certainly doesn’t count as cheating. If both partners masturbate alone or together while still enjoying a healthy sex life, the activity has the potential to deliver many benefits. The same goes for watching porn or even using a sex toy (e.g., a pocket pussy, vibrator, etc.). 

However, this all boils down to personal preferences and relationship dynamics. Some people could truly have a problem with their partner masturbating. Others could encourage self-pleasure but would be against aides like sex toys or porn. Finally, some partners could be highly supportive of their partner’s masturbation habits. For example, many wives encourage their husbands to masturbate in order to improve their stamina in bed. Others love masturbating together while sharing kinky fantasies.

The most important thing to note here is that this topic will solely depend on how you and your partner deal with it. If you are unsure, it would be helpful to have a long discussion. And we know, talking about this can be unpleasant. Still, it’s a lot less awkward compared to your partner catching you in action with a massive boner surrounded by tons of porn and lube!

Benefits of masturbating

Regardless of if you’re beating your bishop or saucing your taco, solo sex holds many benefits. We’ve already mentioned that men could use masturbation as a form of training for the real thing. The same goes for women. Self-pleasure allows them to learn the nuances of their orgasms and improve them during sex. Couples who exercise self-satisfaction are also more likely to have an active sex life. 

In fact, several studies have shown that married people who masturbate are more open to experimentation. Plus, they also experience a higher degree of sexual satisfaction in the long run. What’s more, numerous studies have discovered that you can improve your well-being if you play with yourself. This can boost sexual confidence, raise your body image, and work wonders for your self-confidence.

What follows are feelings of sexual empowerment, broader sexual horizons, and an increased desire to please your partner. Even better, masturbation is a huge stress reliever. It can help you relax and boost your mood. It releases the same chemicals and hormones that occur during sex and generally makes people feel good.

Another benefit is purely practical as many modern couples often struggle with time and other commitments. Here, a date with your palm or sex toy can help a lot, especially if your partner is too tired or is simply not in the mood for sex. 

It has to be moderated

Unfortunately, even with all of its benefits, masturbation can be harmful to individuals and couples. We’ve already said that it could make your partner feel worried or inadequate if you don’t discuss it. However, even if you’re open and honest and your partner approves of your habits, there are still some risks. 

Namely, masturbating too much can be dangerous. Excessive masturbation can lead to various issues that could impact your sexual intimacy and relationship. For one, it can reduce your sexual sensitivity. In some cases, it’s possible that an excessive masturbation habit could interfere with an individual’s daily functioning.

The biggest risk arrives when people in relationships start using it as a form of escape. In this instance, people can turn to self-pleasure to avoid relationship issues. It’s also possible for people to become addicted to it and use it as a substitute for sexual activities in real life. It also puts people at risk of developing porn addictions, especially if they are not satisfied with their sex lives. 

While those downsides sound terrifying, most people can avoid them if they exercise self-love in moderation. While science has concluded that masturbating every day will not harm your physical and emotional state, it’s best to learn your own limits. If you find yourself focusing on self-satisfaction too much or if it becomes a distraction during your married life, it might be better to stop or visit a counselor. 


Now that you know all about masturbation in married life, you can have a discussion with your partner to clear the air first. After that, you can jerk off or rub one out as long as it doesn’t harm your relationship. Have fun!